What I discovered with Annelie was a doorway to a new realm, a space where I could stop thought and just be and truly connect with the earth and energies around and within me….all without thinking. It felt like a huge relief and a coming home.
It felt like this happened in two parts. Firstly Annelie introduced me to a range of practices that allowed me to stop thinking and instead to just focus on being in my body, on movement or sound. For the first time in my life I experienced moments with no thought at all. I didn’t even know this was possible. Also when difficult feelings surfaced, I realised I didn’t have to analyse or understand it, but just allow it. The phrase that really struck with me was, ’surrender the part of you that wants to understand’…oh the relief in that.
The second part, an extension of the above, was starting to deeply connect my body with the earth and the energies around me and within me. More recently, the bodywork and energy healing I have done has opened me up energetically, but it has left me feeling out of control with huge (positive) energy surges coming seemingly out of nowhere and a feeling of being carried away with them, not able to ground or hold the energy. Whilst the energy has felt positive, it felt very unsettling and unsustainable for integrating into daily life.
Through the work we did on the retreat, for the first time, I was able to truly ground and hold the energy when it was flowing through me, which left me feeling more a part of everything around me and a deep sense of groundedness, presence and peace.
I was also able to connect with the earth in a way I never have before, which allowed me to face my fear of being alone - recognising that since we are connected to the earth energetically, we are always supported and never alone. I have spent a lot of time on my journey discovering and connecting with Christ and Heavenly Father / Source, both of which have definitely felt like a divine masculine or yang presence.
On this retreat I felt I was introduced for the first time to Mother Earth, a more divine feminine or yin presence, which was emotional and has meant so much to me. I feel it is another step in me becoming more connected to myself and the divine feminine within me. In addition, some of the work enabled me to start feeling and moving the energy intentionally in my energy field. It started to feel more like a ‘conversation’ with the energy within and around me, than just being blasted by energy and not knowing what to do with it.
Since the retreat I have also started to deeply know that the answer to my physical / medical challenges, is in further energy work; in unblocking, clearing and balancing and for the first time I feel I have the patience to explore this, without needing a quick fix from mainstream medicine (not to undermine the role of mainstream medicine, but to recognise it’s only one part of the solution).
It’s very early days and I know there is still so much for me to learn and experience in this space, but I feel hopeful that I have started the next phase of my journey which will enable me to be more still, more connected to everything around me and able to take steps towards improving my health.
